kiki_eng: black and white, a man in a suit stands in an office building at night, his back to the viewer (Torchwood) (Ianto in an office)
[personal profile] kiki_eng
I love Twilight. No, seriously; it has gifted me with hours of amusement. I cherish it deeply.

I've never read the books, nor do I intend to. I think that they would ruin my appreciation of the franchise.

[livejournal.com profile] lucylou has illustrated her Twilight reading experience and provided book summaries in comic form.

[livejournal.com profile] stoney321 has written and heavily illustrated a gloriously snarky summary of the work, while examining the link between Twilight and Mormonism.

See? I do not need to read these books. I do highly recommend watching Twilight, though. I say this because it is exactly like this, only without the musical numbers and the parts where Bella appears to have a spine. (Those are not in the film.) There is also this: 28 Reasons That ‘Twilight’ the Movie Is Better Than ‘Twilight’ the Book that points out some really hilarious things to watch for, and then mock. There are indeed some amazing things in this film, including the point at which Edward appears to have wings. Also: in this film Robert Pattinson is playing the role of James Dean playing the role of Edward Cullen. It is awesome.

There is also cleansing material available in the form of a glorious crossover vid:
Buffy vs Edward (Twilight Remixed) by Jonathan McIntosh
Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight have a similar set-up; both feature a young woman who moves to a small town, lives with her single parent, starts up at a new high school and meets this tall, dark and handsome vampire. What each does with that set-up is radically different; the characters are radically different. I find much of the character interaction in Twilight baffling, especially Bella and Edwards blooming romance. I find her interest in Edward very Charlotte and Emily Brontë and think that Bella needs to get herself a stake and use it. Her reactions are irrational to me; Buffy's aren't, and so, seeing Buffy meet Edward is something that I find deeply satisfying. (McIntosh provides a good description of his work.)

New Moon is not a film I enjoyed as much as Twilight. There is more teen angst. I believe it is best summarised through lolcats.

There are many other glorious aspects of the Twilight experience. Some people pay attention to those people that are in the films, with
snarky fashion judgement. [There is a glorious post about how Twilight on ice is the best of all possible interpretations of the work. (I APPROVE OF THIS VISION.)]

There is also instructional material available on the internet:
How to be like Edward Cullen

...and, of course, there is Merch:
The Hot Topic Licenced Gear includes make up, rings, and an umbrella.

There's also a line of posters, including one where Edward watches you moodily.

There's NSFW* The 30 Most Disturbing Twilight Products (*Not Safe For Work. Also probably not safe for [personal profile] sobluethesky. I think this is one of those links that I sent to my ex-fiancée and the reaction was something like amusement and her shouting at me something like "Why? OMG. Why did you send that to me?" This is to say that viewer discretion is strongly advised.) There's more detail and purchasing information about that item that makes the previous list NSFW or [personal profile] sobluethesky. Also from that list and less disturbing is the Edward Cullen Life Size Twilight Silhouette Vinyl Wall Decal.

Volvo is also cashing in on this Twilight merchandising thing.

Additionally there is a line of tea and coffee.

There's also anti-Twilight merch. I'm partial to the one about vampirism and stalking. The Buffy one is pretty classic. There are also a bunch here of varying quality, including a break-up shirt.

There's also some blatant and depressing opportunism with this whole Twilight thing. Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you Wuthering Heights. Now trying to disguise itself as part of the Twilight-verse. (Oh yes they did.) Smart Bitches ran a contest, asking people to Twilightify book covers. (entries here, winners here) It's pretty fantastic. They've also run an alternative titles contest, and oh, do I have a lot of love for the winners.

There's been a lot of vampire stuff out in the past five years, and in the midst of this saturation one wonders what comes next. Maggie Stiefvater answers this important question.

And that is my Twilight link round-up done for the next year or so. (You're welcome.)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-01-07 05:56 pm (UTC)
sobsister: Headshot of Selina Kyle in Catwoman gear. (Default)
From: [personal profile] sobsister
Thank you indeed. This is certainly comprehensive, and hilarious.

I say this because it is exactly like this, only without the musical numbers and the parts where Bella appears to have a spine. (Those are not in the film.)

If only they had been...I feel the Twilight vampires are peculiarly suited to West Side Story-style finger snapping dance-offs. It really wouldn't be too much of a stretch to make a musical.

Where do I begin...?

Date: 2010-01-11 08:51 pm (UTC)
sobluethesky: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sobluethesky
Okay, first of all this is excellent as a resource/web directory sort of thing. I've managed to sort through pretty much most of the links, and even though I've already seen many of them, they still make me smile (particularly the musical number and instructional how-to article).

Out of the new ones, the figure-skating suggestion made me particularly happy - specifically, Edward's internal monologue.

Finally, I stayed away from the NSFW stuff, as suggested, but would like to point out that it took me a good 2 minutes or so before I worked out that I was your 'ex-fiancé' (throw me an extra 'e' next time, that would help). Seriously, I was racking my brains trying to figure out if you were saying it ironically about somebody, or had gotten pronouns confused, or whether you had an even more secret life than the evil laboratory that you access from your closet (yes, I know about that). I'm so glad that we're still friends, though. :P

Re: Where do I begin...?

Date: 2010-01-12 04:22 am (UTC)
sobluethesky: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sobluethesky
Um, I know that I said we were friends but this...this is a bit of shock. This is is the first I've heard of another ex, and to find out on DreamWidth that you were engaged to somebody else still...hurts a little inside, you know? I think I need a little space for a while.

P.S. I wouldn't scrutinize your lair if you cleaned up once in a while. At least pick up the beakers - one of these days someone's going to trip on a graduated cylinder and hurt themself.

P.P.S. [personal profile] readbystarlight's theory is that you're just embarrassed by your spelling error and are making up another woman in retaliation.

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