wanderings

I asked runpunkrun for 3 things when I figured out that I'd be using my "rec" tag for the 200th time pretty soon and that I hadn't actually seen rules for what you had to do with the three things. I figured there'd be a kind of theme with the numbers. Of course, I forgot all about my plan when I found a list of vids on a Canada flag on Canada Day, so this is my 201st use of that tag. Because the three things runpunkrun gave me sounded like a bandom prompt to me, these are bandom fic recs.

An Inch From The Ground by jukeboxghost
6,738 words | NC-17 | ableist language: "lame" | Brendon/Spencer
“Tonight,” says Spencer as he passes by on his way to join the others, fresh from his bunk, voice an undertone, “tonight, at the hotel, okay?” His hand glides just barely over the small of Brendon’s back, barest touch where his shirt has ridden up.
Brendon startles and manages to shower the counter with sugar as he drops the spoon with a clatter, nearly elbowing his orange soda over. He nods three times without breathing.
Oh man.
He rests his head against the cupboard beside him, grips the edge of the worktop with both hands, and huffs through his nose, because he can still feel the ghost of Spencer’s touch and it makes his thoughts blur.
     +
     When I picture orange soda, I see it in the bottom of my Hallowe'en bag/pillowcase as kid, orange crush pop. It's not something that's followed me into adulthood, particularly; soft drinks are something that happen when I'm out of options or, rarely, when alcohol is involved. In the case of the latter there's generally not a fluorescent quality to it, so for me Brendon's orange soda is one of those details that tells me just how young he is in this. And god, he is so young in this. There's a superhero-themed popsicle and the whole band together and roughhousing and friends who've shot up in height out of nowhere. There's a kind of yearning in this, for privacy and consummation; it's hotel night fic with all of the before of being with the whole band on a tour bus - welded together for so long in that space, casual and familiar and everyone inside of everyone else that way close friends can get when they're together near-constantly. jukeboxghost has a really charming, immersive, atmospheric writing style and this is a great fic about a first time and the lead-up to it, all of that locked-in intent and heightened awareness, and the texture of life around and in those moments.

Fantaisie-Impromptu by oliviacirce
1,485 words | NC-17 | Greta/Victoria
Vicky-T is wearing striped stockings, black and white like piano keys, uneven stripes climbing her long, long legs to the hem of her black babydoll dress.
     +
     I think that my strongest memory of watching a keyboardist performing in a rock band was looking at him and thinking he looks like he escaped from a film and I want his hat; this was a decade ago and I have zero memory of what his hat looked like but he was wearing a breton shirt and it's apparently left an impression. That memory and likely having seen that band live more than any other seems to have convinced me that keyboardists are good dressers. I have seen piano key tights worn badly, and that is not the case here; I can see this outfit in my mind, which is either me being a visual person who's into clothes or my having seen a publicity photo of Vicky-T wearing this.
     Reading this I felt strongly, in onion-like layers, that I knew these stockings - that I had seen them in the wild, that I had seen Vicky-T in them, that I had read this fic before, and that there was meta, that this was the good call on the stockings fic. At least half of those things are definitely true, because it is that fic that Vicky-T commented on and olivia_circe's resulting meta is both solid and well-titled. I think Greta and Victoria make good sartorial choices in real life and those choices are pretty integral to this fic and its focus on the make up of representing as female and femme, particularly in a male-dominated space, and finding women within that space. This story is femslash porn fluff, and the stockings are pretty great.

Do Androids Dream of Expensive Scarves? by fictionalaspect
6,402 words | PG-13 | ableist language: "lamely" | Brendon/Spencer
Summary: Post-split fluff. Now with 100% more robots!
     +
     The greatest number of scarves I've ever worn at once is probably three; there was a winter here a few years back where whenever anyone came in from the cold they'd unwind their scarf and then another one, after, minimum. I wore layers of gloves and socks and sweaters and what felt like everything but wasn't quite, just. I am with Ryan Ross, robot: scarves are for winter. I love scarves - bits of flowy fabric! drama! - but for fashion alone I usually can't be arsed. I am here for ALL of the bandom scarves, though; they light up my life, and this title alone brings me joy. The fic is a delight - about friendship and communication and healing and how robots can bring us together. Brendon and Spencer's getting together is secondary to the whole Ryan Ross, robot, business; it's a story about dealing with your emotions and navigating complexity and getting to a point where you can set things aside. It's also a whole lot of non-serious comedy, which is awesome.

So those were my three things. Let me know if you'd like three random objects of your own.

ETA: So, I looked at my journal logged out, saw I had 199 "rec" tags, poked around and found the other two: unlocked a hockey rec that had originally been posted public, and found the other one is actually one of my few remaining private drafts. So. This is my 200th "rec" post currently. Accidental success FTW, or something.

Because the Doomsday Clock made that seem like a fitting thing this past week or something. (Also this was way easier than doing that meme without a theme.) These are all PWP or PWP-adjacent fics that I haven't recced before, still exist online, and remembered without rifling through my bookmarks.

Five Days of Dickings by drunktuesdays, mklutz, the_ragnarok
Five Dickings in Five Days was the (hopefully interim) title he’d seen on the contract. More like five days of dickings. Whatever, Stiles was into it. The money is great; the fucking is also great. It’s a win-win way to pay for college.
Teen Wolf | Rating: NC-17 | 17,845 words | Derek/Stiles, Peter/Stiles, Aiden/Ethan/Stiles, Danny/Stiles, Chris/Jordan/Stiles, Boyd/Erica/Stiles, Boyd/Erica, Erica/Stiles, Boyd/Stiles
I remain impressed by the collaborative nature of this piece, appreciate the structure and arc of this story, and its spread of kinks and characters. It's solid.

This Anus Scene, It's An Arms Race by jedusaur
Summary: This is what happened the time Fueled By Semen's main stars decided to compete for a million pageviews.
Bandom | Rating: NC-17 | 2,714 words | William/Gabe, Ryan/Brendon, Frank/Gerard, Patrick/Pete, Gabe/Pete, Brendon/Pete, Gerard/Pete, Gabe/Brendon, Gabe/Gerard, Brendon/Gerard, William/Frank/Ryan/Patrick
Comedy. This is basically the title that I am going to remember forever. That and like, a lingering impression of kazoos and clowns and Amanda Palmer?

How To Succeed In Sex Slavery Without Really Trying by astolat
"You are never getting to plan anything ever again," Rodney said. "What kind of a military strategist are you, anyway?"
Stargate: Atlantis | Rating: NC-17 | 1,719 words | McKay/Sheppard
Noncon and snark. Really tropey. The bit where McKay and Sheppard are physically manipulated to fuck each other may be a bit meta, thinking on it.

Zone Blitz by summerstorm
Summary: from glee_kink: Quinn loves the idea of dressing up in a boy's football uniform, but is embarrassed/ashamed. Rachel proves to her that her fantasy isn't weird, or abnormal.
Glee | Rating: NC-17 | 4,167 words | Rachel/Quinn
I remember this fic in terms of that vulnerability she has exploring that fantasy and the interplay that it has with gender and gender roles.

Till You Make It by lightgetsin
I squirmed, pinned between him and the counter. "It’s not – look, I don’t run to schedule, okay?" I said. "Don’t – I’m not easy."
"You don’t say." Okay, that much sarcasm was uncalled for.
"I mean it," I said doggedly. "I’m not one of those ‘insert coin, pull lever’ girls."
The Dresden Files | Rating: NC-17 | 19,776 words | Harry/Marcone
I pulled up three of lightgetsin's fics when I was making this list and every single one of them I remembered as a line from its summary. But, yeah: gender and elusive orgasms.

that pleases me by mardia
Nightingale actually stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me on the stairs, in my dirty rugby kit, smeared with dirt and grass. I'd left the boots off outside, to avoid risking Molly's wrath. “Good Lord,” he said slowly, his eyes scanning me from head to toe.
Rivers of London | Rating: NC-17 | 2,088 words | Peter/Thomas
Mostly I remember this fic for that moment within it of being completely taken by the sight of someone, that kind of blinding lust. And of course there's follow-through.

Only As Directed by rageprufrock
“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said.
“Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.
Kingsman | Rating: NC-17 | 12,180 words | Harry/Eggsy
Filth within the framework of a honeypot mission heavily directed by Harry.

Ice (Upon a Summer's Day) by sageness
"You okay there, Frase?" He looks concerned, more so as Fraser takes a deep breath, holds it, and slowly lets his eyes fall shut.
due South | Rating: NC-17 | 2,941 words | Fraser/RayK
Kink discovery with Fraser smelling ice and then devastatingly in character follow-through on the premise with perfect voices.

A Beginner's Guide to Vulcan Sexual Practice, by Captain James T. Kirk by thingswithwings
It is tradition," Spock says blandly. "Surely you would not ask me to abandon Vulcan tradition." "Uh," Jim replies.
Star Trek | Rating: NC-17 | 4,621 words | Kirk/Spock
This fic was written in reaction to an lj comm's rules which were anti-kink; read or reread them first - it makes it better.

The Creepy Cave by wangler
Stiles looks up. Slowly. “Holy shit,” he says. The tentacle is attached to more tentacles which are attached to a giant glowing squid thing. “That is not the droid we were looking for.”
Teen Wolf | Rating: NC-17 | 4,130 words | Derek/Stiles
Sometimes fandom churns out something that's this combination of incredibly sweet and dirtybadwrong, full on lecherous embrace of some taboo kink nestled up to the fluffiest shit imaginable, and my heart grows three sizes.

...It should be this one
(I can't believe I ran out of characters in a dreamwidth title. Anyway. Yeah, there was a period when I was making this where I was listening to that song a lot for another project. I'm not sorry.)
*A more accurate title would be something like "Wherein kiki_eng attempts to lure people into bandom by way of tropes." You know you're weak to this. Don't even front.

THESE FEELINGS ARE SO UNEXPECTED
Songs About Vikings by skoosiepants
Panic! at the Disco | Brendon/Spencer | Rating: PG-13 | 2,223 words
The fifth time Brendon jerks off to a guy, he calls up Shane and says, "Spencer Smith's beard made me gay."
Spencer Smith's beard gave me feelings? I'm not sure what else you need to know. I like to pretend that I am not constantly reccing skoosiepants' work, but I probably already have written somewhere on my journal, about one of her fics: cute, fun, funny, I wanted to curl up in it and live there forever, a cat in a sunbeam, eternally happy. Would recommend. Am recommending.

ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE FIC
Pluck All Your Silly Strings by jocondite
Panic! at the Disco | Brendon/Spencer | Rating: PG-13 | 5,047 words
Summary: Brendon and Spencer get secretly married for Sinister Tax Purposes.
I am sorry, but that is the best reason to get married. I feel, in my heart of hearts, that at its heart, that is what marriage is for. So, it's like, please, tell me about how you are so married this seemed like a plan. jocondite does. It's good.

SEX POLLEN FIC
Ask Yourself What Matters by formerlydf
Bandom | Gabe/William | Rating: NC-17 | 11,000 words
There's a voice inside his head telling him that this is Bill, this is Bill in pain, he should be there, he should try to make it better, he shouldn't leave Bill alone, and there's another voice reminding him of how much Bill likes his privacy, that he should respect the few intact boundaries they have left.
I love fic that's interested in consent and feelings. I also love fic that takes a trope that's a path to a pwp and goes somewhere else. So, yes, read all about that time Gabe didn't fuck William in a hotel room.

BONDAGE FIC
Pushing the Boundaries by airgiodslv
Bandom | Gabe/William | 11,946 words | PG-13 | Ableist language: "lame"
“This isn’t exactly what I thought you had in mind when you said retreat, bro,” Gabe comments, fingers digging into muscle just enough to make William’s shoulders rise.
Friendly bondage turns into sexy bondage, gradually. This is pretty domestic; they're so comfortable with each other.

AGE GAP SCHOOL AGE VET AU
Tongue-tied And Overloaded by skoosiepants
Bandom/Disney RPF | Gabe/William | Rating: PG-13 | 7,926 words
So, whatever, William’s young, and nervous – and Gabe kind of scares the shit out of him – but he’s not going to let that stop him from seducing Gabe. Again.
This fic is: fuzzy animals and waiting to get older and get noticed. (Also, yes, apparently I am not trying very hard to pretend that I do not always rec skoosiepants. The Disney RPF crossover is an essential lure, okay? It's fucking magic.) There are shenanigans and teenage insecurity and it's all thoroughly adorable.

HP FUSION VEELA SOULBONDING FIC
I Show Not Your Face by formerlydf
The Academy Is.../Panic! at the Disco | Jon/William | Rating: PG-13 | 21,919 words | Ableist language: "lame"
It's not awkward — mostly, Jon thinks, because he doesn't spend too much time thinking about it, and he doesn't think William does, either. It's what happens, when you tour. Not with everybody you meet, obviously, but it's just a generally known fact that the more time you spend with somebody, the greater your chances of sleeping with them while under the influence of some sort of alcohol.
This may actually be my favourite HP Fusion ever. It's like bandom's magical realism thing on a series of tour buses that have been transformed into the Burrow and there's pining and werewolves. So: fucking lovely cobbled together magic with the soul of a poet and a note of tension strung through.

FRANK IS A MOTHERFUCKING WEREWOLF
Run by mrsronweasley
My Chemical Romance | Frank/Gerard | Rating: NC-17 | 60,000 words | Ableist language: "lame"
Summary: Being a secret teenage werewolf is hard. Frank should know. He is one. (written for werewolfbigbang)
The tone of this thing is great. There's something perfect about a teenaged werewolf and this does a really good job on following through on the whole teenaged part.

IS THE TITLE A KNITTING INSTRUCTION/PUN? YES, YES, I THINK IT IS. POLY KNITTING AU, MOTHERFUCKERS.
sl1 k2tog psso by carleton97
My Chemical Romance | Bob/Frank/Jamia | Rating: NC-17 | 9,100 words
"You really are a big softie, aren't you?"
"Shut up and finish crocheting your Cthulhu, Gerard."
Bob owns a knitting shop and Jamia and Lyn set up a sex shop next door. Everyone knits a lot and Jamia and Frank decide they want to keep Bob forever. I mentioned the poly knitting AU thing? (Bonus little old ladies and cooking classes.)

HIGH SCHOOL AU WITH ADORABLE MISUNDERSTANDINGS
Different Pages of the Same Name by finkpishnets
The Like | Z/Annie | Rating: PG | 2,171 words
Annie won’t admit it aloud but she’s sort of ridiculously glad for the start of senior year.
Adorable. Cute and lovely. Features friendship and people being awkward about having feelings and that thing where getting to know your crush is sweetly complicated instead of straightforward. Obliviousness is also a thing and it's just pretty damn sweet all round.

PSEUDO-HISTORICAL ARRANGED MARRIAGE AU
All the While You Hold the Key by wordslinging
My Chemical Romance | Frank/Gerard | Rating: R | 10,573 words
Because what you really want to read about is Frank struggling to hide his sickly disposition and Gerard having architectural schemes and them both being gone for each other, and, like, insecure and noble and shit.

HIGHSCHOOL DRAMA CLUB AU
Hurricane and Fire Survival Guide by softlyforgotten
Bandom | Greta/Victoria | Rating: PG-13 | 25,508 words
Summary: Victoria Asher goes to school, stars in a play, and falls in love.
Fuck yes, this fic. It's about Victoria being a bit of an asshole and caught up in her own shit, and there's a drama club. Oh, is there drama club; A+ use of drama club. The summary could also have been: wherein Victoria pines for her old friends and makes new ones in spite of herself. It's great.

SUPERNATURAL COP AU
Take Your Breath Away by cest_what
The Like | Annie/Laena | Rating: PG-13 | 2,951 words
Summary: When Annie got her police badge she didn't think she'd spend her first supernatural incident running for her life. But you can't fight a breath-stealer.
I am not really clear on how this thing manages to be both gritty and adorable, but that is a thing this urban fantasy AU does. Laena is totally swoon-worthy in this and Annie's still new at this job; they fight crime.

UNDERCOVER COP AU
Let Me Shake Up Your World by paperclipbitch
Bandom | Greta/Victoria | Rating: PG-13 | 5,715 words
Pete says that her skills at lying are what make her so invaluable as an undercover officer. Victoria thinks that they probably make her a sociopath.
This is based on a Cobra Starship music video, so Greta and Victoria are working on shutting down a drug operation based out of a club. I love how this thing goes down between them from a trope standpoint. Victoria is great in this.

"CASUAL" SEX AND PINING
Highway Lines and Interstate Signs by AirgiodSLV
Bandom | William/Travis | Rating: NC-17 | 18,791 words
“This is a tour,” Travis replies easily. “Stop packing, you’ve got five days still. Take a vacation. I’ll see you on Warped.”
I put this fic into my draft for this entry a long time ago and so my notes from, like, five years ago, probably, are: "William is made of pretty and feelings" which seems like a pretty promising thing for a tour fic about sex and pining. Also I am pretty sure I do not remember this fic that much because I ended up, like, sucker-punched with the ferocity of how much I shipped those two, so you know it was good.

BASEBALL AU
Take That Fork in the Road and Wherever It Goes by roebling and roebling & stele3, respectively
Panic! at the Disco | Brendon/Spencer | Rating: PG-13 | 17,164 and 20,545 words
Welcome to caring intensely about baseball. I read the sequel first and it is basically the story of a single game of baseball with a lot of memories thrown in, and, I got so invested, in Spencer's feelings and how much the game he was pitching meant, and, yeah. I'm not over it. The first one is a bit more a college AU than a baseball story, but I absolutely recommend both, and if you are emotionally invested in Ngozi's Check Please you will probably be pretty happy with this whole thing - read it even if you're not, maybe. There is angst and pining here, too, and being a closeted pro athlete, and it is a beautiful mix of things that you need in your life.

"THE HOUSE IS ALIVE! *BEAMS*"
Taken My Place by harborshore
My Chemical Romance | Mikey/Ray | Rating: PG-13 | 6,000 words
The house is old. Really, the house is practically ancient; it groans and complains when the fall storms come calling, and the shed in the garden is holding itself together through sheer will and the last rusty nails clinging to the walls.
This is charming and adorable and Ray and Mikey are roommates in a house that is old and cranky and everything sorts itself out. ♥ I fucking love magic domestic fic.

So that's it, apparently: 16 tropey fic recs painting nowhere near a complete picture of bandom, its characters, ships, or ficcers - like, seriously, one of my main pairings is not in this and I don't know how that happened and this list is so short. I started writing this for readbystarlight years ago and accidentally lured her into other fandoms as I was writing this, but: now is a good time to be in bandom, I feel. It is always a good time to be in bandom. You should join me. *nods*

Ways of Going Forward by redbrickrose
Tennessee wants to say "Where have you been?" or maybe just "Fuck you." She takes a deep breath and says, "Sleeping. It's..." she glances at the clock, "3 am. And my birthday was ten days ago."
Tennessee Thomas/Charlotte Froom | Rating: PG | 5,800 words
Bandom
This fic is raw edges and tentativeness and history. When Charlotte calls Tennessee in this fic it's awkward and terrible and the timing isn't perfect and both of them are still hurt, but it's a beginning. I love how broken they are in this - how much hurt there is, and how much pining. I love how they don't really let go of each other and how, having all of this history together, they start up again, and how that beginning has an echo in their past; it's really lovely. There's this thing where things aren't really resolved in this, their relationship isn't definitively settled, but they've taken some first steps together. It's hopeful.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles by igrockspock
Summary: After the end of the war, Luna makes two surprising discoveries: her father attempted to give Harry to Lord Voldemort, and Severus Snape is alive.
Luna Lovegood & Xenophilius Lovegood, Luna Lovegood & Severus Snape | Rating: PG-13 | 7,069 words
Harry Potter
It's a post-war fic about the aftermath of the war and Luna dealing with the revelation that her father is not the man she thought he was, that his principles are not what she thought they were. It's about Luna making her way back to her father after that realisation and her and Snape figuring out the business of living, after the war. It's about letting people in when you've been hurt, and Snape and Luna helping each other.

Time is but the Stream by chaosmanor
"I've been feeling like I've been swimming in two different time streams at once, ever since this started," Patrick said. "The 'now.' And the 'then.' Like being in two places at once. And I think I know why."
Andy Hurley/Patrick Stump | Rating: NC-17 | 27,846 words
Bandom
I love this story to pieces. There's this line that Patrick says in this - "I fell in love with a philosopher who would read Thoreau to me, and we'd talk about living beside a lake in the silence. I wound up choosing the band over them, which was really sad, but I think of them sometimes, and wish them all the best." and he's talking about Andy, and he says it on-air, just this matter of fact thing that is part of the narrative of his life for him; this fic destroys me in so many different ways. Patrick and Andy fell in love and then changed their relationship - broke up, so at the present that this story begins in they're friends and bandmates. (I love ex-lovers being friends and being able to move forward together.) Right at the beginning of this story there's this tiny comment that Andy makes, and him making it has nothing to do with his past with Patrick, but it takes Patrick back there and, yeah, hits him right in the face, and the story unfolds from there. There are two time-streams weaving back and forth in this and the end brings them into harmony, brings them into harmony. It's utterly lovely.

Buyer's Remorse by SilviaKundera
Summary: When Eduardo Saverin has a sudden vacancy for a best friend, no one on earth expects Sean Parker to fill it -- least of all Sean himself.
In which Sean Parker accidentally grows up, stumbles into a priorities readjustment, and helps Eduardo kick True Love's ass like a boss.
Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg, Sean Parker & Eduardo Saverin | Rating: PG-13 | 18,674 words
The Social Network
The Social Network is the story of the birth of a website and the death of a relationship and the fandom is a lot of people trying to fix that relationship. There is a lot of fic about reconciliation in this fandom. As the character who sets the wheels in motion in the film, Sean Parker is not the typical focus of a reconciliation fic, but he is in this one. Sean Parker makes an overture of friendship toward Eduardo Saverin and things spin out differently from that. Sean, in his way, puts a lot of effort into his relationships in this and in trying to help his friends reconcile. Sean. So there's Eduardo's relationship with Sean, which is fascinating and hilarious, and then Eduardo and Mark's reconciliation, which is a long road, partially because they don't realise it's possible for a long time. The fic is ridiculous, funny, and interesting.

The Dark Ocean Bottom. by Pennyplainknits
Summary: Stressed and ansty after the end of the tour, Brendon escapes to London, and finds more than he bargains for.
Ryan leans his elbow on the table, puts his chin in his hand. "So, why are you here?"
"I," Brendon pauses... "I just couldn't be there. I needed to be somewhere else."
"Yeah," Ryan finally takes a sip of his tea. "Yeah, I know how that feels."
Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross | Rating: NC-17 | 24,054 words
Bandom
It's post-split fic, with that delicate between them, and they end up alone in a strange place and find each other. It's really great. There's this thing where, rebuilding their relationship after Ryan has left the band, they build something new. There's a chunk of typos in this, but the tone of the piece is great, and there's this wonderful OT3 element in it, and a really satisfying coming home bit, with pieces slotting together.

(This post is for snowflake_challenge. Details about the fourteenth day are here.)

I woke up to that news that Saturday morning (over a week ago now) and all of these sad garment-rending type posts on my reading list and network. (This is my sad garment-rending type post.)

My Chemical Romance was my favourite active bandom band. They're an important part of bandom for me, and an important part of my fannish history. Bandom's not my first RPF fandom but it's my first serious RPF fandom; I'm a lot more attached to it and the people that it focuses on than I have been with previous RPF fandoms, which is something that I've been processing as I move through bandom.

sinesofinsanity and I do this thing occasionally where we hang out in a kitchen and cook and/or drink tea and talk fandom. We don't tend to share fandoms or read the same fic in fandoms we do share; we're pretty different fannishly. For the past however long I've been talking to her about bandom, which has translated into a lot of talking about MCR (They went LARPing in the desert with Grant Morrison for a couple music videos.* Gerard writes comic books.** One of their music videos is a fanvid; they found a couple of a fanperson's vids, liked her stuff, and paid her to make their music video.***) and about RPF. There's been a lot of processing of where the lines are for me and what being a fan of someone more for their media persona than their work means for me. My becoming a fan of MCR and working to process my relationship with RPF have been really intertwined things for me.

*Killjoys 'verse: Na Na Na, SING
**wiki: The Umbrella Academy
***vidder's lj entry: The Kids From Yesterday

MCR is important to me. I have a lot of feelings about MCR. MCR is "art is the weapon". MCR is "trying to change the world". MCR is "gonna find the way on my own". MCR is "be yourself and don't take anybody's fucking shit".

When I was in high school I was pretty far left on the political spectrum. I am pretty far left on the political spectrum, and there's this narrative about how leftists grow up and stop being leftists. There's this note somewhere that I wrote to Friend A that goes something like, I don't ever want to do that. I don't ever want to accept the status fucking quo. I don't ever want to accept this racist, misogynistic, homophobic bullshit. I don't ever want to stop caring about that shit. I don't ever want to stop fighting. I am terrified of that; I think that the day I stop fighting, stop caring, is the day that something incredibly important dies.

MCR's a fighting band; MCR is a band fighting that fight; they're not perfect, but they're fighting. That's a lot of what MCR has meant to me, and I'm sad that they broke up; I wanted them to grow old and write a children's album together. I didn't want the band to end, but it's okay that they did; things end. Life goes forward and there are new adventures.

(Thank you and best wishes, MCR.)

I have been basically writing around I find MCR inspirational. I liked their message; it's something that I need in my life and something that I occasionally turn around in my head like a favourite old book. It's still there, after they've broken up, and the fandom is still here, too.

The fandom, for those reading this who are unaware, is awesome. Those themes that make me love MCR are all wrapped up in the fandom - geekery and art and meaning and recovery and... it's glorious.

( Recs and love )