wanderings

France! New Zealand! Uruguay!

So there's this word that I stopped using a while ago when I realised that it was hurtful.

I should say, there's this word that I stopped using within a certain context when I realised that that context was hurtful, when I realised that using that word to mean pathetic, pitiful, sad, boring, bad, inadequate is associating those words with people who are none of those things.

When I was in middle school I met someone who, whenever someone used the word "gay" as a slur, addressed it. When people spat it out like it was something dirty or used it casually to mean bad things they went Hey. That's not cool. I don't remember what they actually said; it probably changed a bit each time, but that was the message, and you know what? It got through to a lot of people.

That usage of the word "gay" is one that never entered my speech. I don't know that it would have, if I'd never met that person; I don't remember how I felt about that word before they started calling people on it. They are probably responsible for my being able to express, at an early age, why that usage is problematic.

I'm telling that story here because I think that people will relate to it, because I think that most of Fandom can go Yeah, no, using "gay" as a slur, that's not cool, and because "gay" is sometimes used interchangeably with "lame".

I've never used the word "gay" as a slur, but I have used "lame". I knew, when I used it, that it was a word that meant - and I am just going to use Merriam-Webster here - "having a body part and especially a limb so disabled as to impair freedom of movement" or "marked by stiffness and soreness <a lame shoulder>", but it somehow did not occur to me at the time that those other definitions - "inferior", "contemptible, nasty", etc. - stem from the first, that they are a way of saying that disabilities and by extension disabled persons are contemptible and nasty. So, yeah, using "lame" as a slur isn't cool.

That's not something that I connected on my own. I stumbled on a blog post that casually mentioned "lame" as ableist language before I went ...Right. and stopped using it.

This is a post that I've been thinking about making for a while, because it's something that I think needs to be said, and because it's something that's been relevant to my fannish experience lately.

I've gotten into bandom this past year. It's something that I'm really excited about. There are years and years worth of fic out there and some of it is kind of ridiculously awesome. There is fic out there that I pretty much love everything about, ever, except for its ableist language.

The thing is, these are fics that I would gleefully rec if they didn't use the word "lame" as a slur. They do, is the thing, and that significantly reduces my enjoyment of a work and how comfortable I feel recommending it to other people. It's frustrating, because there are so many other, better, words that these writers could be using and the one that they are using is hurtful.

This is a post that I'm writing today because there's discussion going on in bandom right now about using the word "faggot", and this, this? It's the same thing; it's a slur.

Now legal in: The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland, and Argentina.

Those last three are all this year, which is, you know, pretty exciting.

The president can still veto it and it needs to go through another parliamentary vote, apparently.

Source: BBC and Le Figaro

There are some excellent vids out there about the need for changing gender-discriminatory marriage laws.

Often when people make the argument for changing these laws they focus on discrimination, equality, and constitutional rights; they don't make the emotional plea. Fidelity does. It's set to the song of the same name by Regina Spektor and was made in response to the "Yes" vote on Proposition 8 in California and Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund's subsequent attempt to nullify existing marriages in that state. They had people send in photos to make this. It's very simple, and watches a lot like a family slide show in a lot of ways, only each photo has different people in it. It's very powerful.

Prop 8 - The Musical is wonderful. Jack Black plays Jesus, which likely gives you a fairly good idea of the piece. It makes some very nice points for equality, clear and funny.

Sex With Ducks by Garfunkel and Oates is a satirical response to a comment from the religious right. The music video is well done and the song is dangerously catchy. (You have been warned.)