wanderings

4ever by jarrow
D.E.B.S. | 3:04 | G | Amy/Lucy
Summary: We ain't gonna live forever...
Music: 4ever by The Veronicas
     +jarrow's got a note just over their vid embed that reads, in part: "happy lesbian hijinks." That's this vid. They are so gay and the movie is so camp and it is glorious pop-driven wallow in Amy and Lucy's love story in all of its camp gay glory.

If It Isn't Her, It Isn't Here by gwenfrankenstein
D.E.B.S. | 2:52 | PG-13 | Amy/Lucy
Summary: My imagination is rattling its cage.
Music: If It Isn't Her by Ani DiFranco
     +This is one of those vids that very much is weaving its audio with its visual, to the tune of lyric and visual matches and there's so much atmospheric groove in the song, too, so it's this mix of precision and vibes that's immersive and satisfying. (They fall in love to Ani DiFranco: it's super gay and great.)

Love At First Sight by heresluck
Glee | 2:36 | G | Kurt/Blaine
Summary: Then there was you.
Music: Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue
     +It was love, guys. I have so much nostalgia for what I watched of early seasons Kurt and Blaine and that representation in that ridiculous show, and just - the instant *hearteyes* and singing and dancing and mild pining and kissing and pop music. It is here and it is fantastic.

am I only dreaming? by thingswithwings
GLOW | 1:50 | PG-13 | Arthie/Yolanda
Summary: A tribute to this beautiful little love story!
Music: Eternal Flame by The Bangles
     +This made me *chinhands*. Two women dancing and being in love with each other in the '80s.

come home to my heart by dollsome
Good Omens | G | Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: In your car, the radio up / We keep trying to talk about us / I’m someone you maybe might love. Falling in love with the world, and each other. An Ineffable Husbands fanvid.
Music: Supercut by Lorde
     +They're doing the best they can, and they're so in love, and they've been so in love for so long, without quite saying it outright, and my heart.

Saving Me & You by purplefringe
Imagine Me & You/Saving Face | 3:29 | G | Luce/Rachel, Wil/Vivian
Summary: Lesbian love in London and New York. A fluffy vid for Imagine Me & You and Saving Face.
Music: Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer
     +Gay fall lesbian vibes! Gay fall lesbian vibes! Sometimes that is all I want, but yeah, this is a great interweaving of the two narratives and all of their little matching tropes. It brings me joy.

Under Pressure by violace
The Martian | 3:45 | G
Summary: "Every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. This is so fundamentally human that it's found in every culture without exception."
Music: Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen
     +I love the Neil deGrasse Tyson open and the optimism. A pop-y film narrative vid with some great beats.

Dancing in the Dark by starlady
Marvel | 3:18 | PG-13 | Kamala Khan
Summary: You can't start a fire without a spark.
Music: Dancing in the Dark by Lucy Dacus
     +The song choice is gutting and perfect. Kamala Khan, and her friends and neighbours and family and neighbourhood, and yeah.

Our Version of Events by alwaystheocean
Pride/Rent | 4:43 | G
(no summary)
Music: Read All About it, Pt III - Emeli Sandé
     +Queer community and activism in the face of all of the shit that gets thrown at us. There's a bit in Pride where Mark is like, you know who Thatcher also hates, yeah? So we're going to be friends, the gays and the miners, because fuck Thatcher in particular, and that's kind of a lot of this vid, friends, but also just a good life strategy in general: band together with the other people that are getting stomped on.

Take Me Out by jarrow
Saving Face | 3:13 | PG-13 | Wil/Vivian
Summary: Wil needs to get her shit together and ask Vivian out already, for crying out loud.
Music: Take Me by AJ & Aly
     +The '80s-inspired soundtrack and some of the cuts are giving, like, dueSouth fanvid, in the best way. Except it's a textually queer source and so it is so, so much better. (I love them and this makes me happy.)

I Know A Place by heresluck
Sense8 |4:34 | PG-13
Summary: Don't you be afraid of love and affection.
Music: I Know A Place by MUNA
     +Friends and lovers, up against the world together, and basking in the sun, too.

Skeleton Song by Isagel
Slings & Arrows | 3:42 | G | Geoffrey Tennant & Oliver Welles
Summary: Skeleton, you are my friend.
Music: Skeleton Song by Kate Nash
     +Oliver and Geoffrey, and Geoffrey's relationship with their continued relationship. (Brilliant.)

Crowded Table by Isagel
Star Trek | 4:19 | G
Summary: The plural of queer is family.
Music: Crowded Table by Joshua Radin
     + Disco. Queers in space taking care of each other, doing space things with their friends.

Gold by ohvienna
Star Trek | 1:29 | G | Deanna Troi/William Riker
Summary: “Because we have to be willing to go through that door to what’s next.”
Music: Gold by Kina Grannis & Jome
     +I haven't seen Picard, so all I'm getting out of this is Troi and Riker, older and in space together again, hugging and kissing like they've kissed before, with a sun-dappled green past or future apart or together, spangled with twinkle lights.

Undress Rehearsal by findmeinthealps
Taskmaster RPF | 3:32 | PG-13 | Alex Horne
Summary: "There is an unfortunate amount of my flesh in this one." - Alex Horne
Music: Undress Rehearsal by Timeflies
     +Alex Horne and a lot of his Taskmaster tropes - exposing his flesh, getting sprayed by water, and generally being used.

How You Like That by marah_sarie
Under the Queen's Umbrella | 3:04 | G | Queen Im Hwa-ryeong
Summary: If you come for Queen Im Hwa-ryeong, you best not miss.
Music: How You Like That by BLACKPINK
     +All the shots in this are gorgeous. Queen Im Hwa-ryeong's imma fuck you up face is a thing of beauty. (I haven't seen this drama, but this vid is excellent.)

Exile by frayadjacent
Xena | 4:48 | G | Xena/Gabrielle
Summary: My complicated feelings about the Xena series finale.
Music: Exile by Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver
     +I really like the inclusion of all of the other bury your gays clips - they make this video and really hammer in what the finale ending was and how unnecessary it was.

I went to a parade this summer where I ended up pretty close to some noisy anti-gay come-to-Jesus types - which really shifted that parade experience into attempting to build a protective wall of sound for the other attendees rather than just being at the parade - and then I came home and realised that I wanted a vid playlist for Pride that I didn't have. This is it.

01. Cockroach Motherfuckers by eruthros and thingswithwings | Multifandom | 3:53 | PG-13 | 2023
Summary: A celebration of all the queer characters you can't bury. Or, if you do bury them, they don't stay down for long.
Music: Tubthumping by Chumbawamba
     + Cockroach motherfuckers. Yes. I love that there can be a multifandom vid of this, that there are enough unburiable queers in media now to build this, that the bury-your-gays trope has been subverted like this over and over and that we have these canonical characters that will just keep coming back. There is so much violence and gore in this. They get knocked down, but they get up again, and they dance in their blood-stained aristocratic finery, painting the floor red as they move across it. They dance, and drink, and fuck, and live, over and over again. They pull themselves out of the trash and claw their way across the ground and they survive. This vid feels like an anthem of queer resilience and queer resistance.
(They're never gonna keep us down.)

02. Tightrope by sweetestdrain | American Idol RPF | 3:23 | G | Adam Lambert | 2010
Summary: Just keep dancing on it.
Music: Tightrope by Janelle Monáe
     + Adam Lambert's arrival in mainstream American media felt a lot like Jack Harkness' entry into Doctor Who; suddenly and unexpectedly there was someone from a major television property being queer and joyful and themselves, and it was glorious. This vid is Adam's Idol voyage, post-Idol media relations, and a whole lot of glittery leather-clad triumph.
(You dance up on them haters // They trying to take all of your dreams but you can't allow it.)

03. Go High, Go Low by eruthros | Lil Nas X RPF | 2:44 | PG-13 | Lil Nas X | 2022
Summary: We go high / we go low
Music: Go High, Go Low by Dope Saint Jude
     + A celebration of Lil Nas X and his gay agenda, which includes A+ aesthetic choices and relentless trolling. It's a joy. This vid feels a bit like those SGA fics where McKay would rant at the bigots; there's something super satisfying about seeing someone take down hateful assholes with the perfect riposte. The combination of chaos gremlin for justice and a high aesthetic graphic embrace of queerness is fantastic. (Coming out on April Fool's day was clearly very on brand for him.) It's a really great fuck-the-haters, embrace-the-self vid.
(We go high and we go low and we don't ever show no signs that we go slow.)

04. Just Dance by Anoel | Queer as Folk (US) | 2:54 | G | 2009
Summary: "So the "thumpa thumpa" continues. It always will. No matter what happens. No matter who's president. As our lady of Disco, the divine Miss Gloria Gaynor has always sung to us: We will survive."
Music: Just Dance by Lady Gaga
     + Set entirely at Babylon, it's a celebration of the gay club scene, full of glitter, strobing lights, and movement. There's so much movement in this that it's immersive, to the extent that there are a couple sequences in this that make me feel a bit overwhelmed, like maybe I have, in fact, had one too many at the club. It's thoroughly a dance vid, in footage and in purpose - it was made for Club Vivid - and it is so very completely and consistently that thing, that it is very accessible for someone with no source knowledge. We are together on the dance floor.
(Just dance, gonna be okay.)

05. Shape of You by Butterfly | Multifandom | 3:52 | NC-17 | 2017
Summary: A brief and flirtatious dip into a happier side of queer media, containing both older and newer source.
Music: Shape of You by Ed Sheeran
     + Sensuality and sexuality in, yeah, some of the happier queer media out there. One of the levels that I enjoy this vid on is purely look at this relatively happy shiny queer media, look how sparkly it is and another is what a great celebration it is of the physicality of the sexuality that it depicts. It's really lovely to have something so uncomplicatedly joyful and pop-y.
(I'm in love with the shape of you.)

06. Black Tie by such_heights | A League of Their Own (TV) | 3:33 | G | Max, Carson | 2023
Summary: You will find the clothes that fit.
Music: Black Tie by Grace Petrie
     + Source material I do not know but have been informed by delighted parties of its canonical queerness. Finding yourself and your people and flourishing within systems of oppression. Both the song and the visuals are liable to fuck you up. The entire opposing team walks an injured player to home base, and Grace Petrie sings to their teenage self about never surrendering to a narrow view of gender; I am programmed to be emotionally devastated by both. It's cathartic, and the woman in the final frames of the video looks so, so happy, and so very gay.
(postcard to my year eleven self // girl, you're gonna be so happy)

07. Each Feather and Each Spangle by leanwellback | Community | 2:39 | G | Dean Pelton | 2012
Summary: It's time to open up your closet. Dean Pelton and his love of costumes.
Music: I Am What I Am by John Barrowman
     + This has been one of my favorite queer vids for a long time, because it has Barrowman doing his version of the Broadway musical La cage aux folles' gay anthem, because it's about a canonically queer character, because it's about him consistently being himself, loudly. Dean explores explores his sexuality, gender expression, and self - and he wears a lot of who he is literally on his sleeve, showing off everything in his closet. He does his own thing. He lives his own truth. It's amazing. The vid is all of that. It's uplifting and has some good comedic moments in it.
(I bang my own drum, some think it's noise, I think it's pretty)

08. Mighty Real by metatxt | Kiki | 3:56 | G | 2018
Summary: You make me feeeeel, mighty real!
Music: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) by Sylvester
     + Kiki is a documentary film about youth of colour getting into the New York ballroom scene and what their lives look like. This vid shows youth finding community, learning to dance, vogue-ing, doing drag, and exploring and becoming and celebrating themselves. It's about the kiki scene as a safe haven, and it's lovely. There's so much dancing in so many different places.
("[...] more than anything, I love.")

09. Get This Feeling by BeatriceEagle | Multifandom | 3:18 | G | 2020
Summary: 22 years of queer representation in western children's TV.
Music: Everytime We Touch by Cascada
     + This is another vid where - I'm just so happy that there's enough source material to make it, that shows like Steven Universe and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power exist now, that there is an increasing body of varied queer representation available for children. It's an unrelenting rainbow-filled joy set to a mid noughts Eurodance techno hit.
(want you in my life)

10. Hold On by heresluck | Heartstopper | 3:27 | PG-13 | Nick/Charlie | 2022
Summary: Grab and hold on tight. (Or: Nick Nelson wants to hug Charlie Spring. Like, a lot. Before he figures out anything else, he knows that much for sure.)
Music: hold on by flor
     + This adorable queer teenage romance that I haven't seen: the animated leaves! The sparks! The light! The thing where they are clearly the main characters and life is going pretty well. The contrast between this and the queer teenage representation that I found as a teenager. This is amazing, and just so incredibly happy. This vid is like distilled photogenic wholesome teenage romance.
(the reason that I come alive, come alive, it lives in your eyes)

11. Crowded Table by sandalwoodbox | Papa & Daddy | 3:48 | G | Damian/Jie Li | 2022
Summary: A place by the fire for everyone.
Music: Crowded Table by Joshua Radin
     + More source material I haven't seen - about family, found and otherwise. Queer people living their lives, and going to pride, and being friends, and lovers, and children, and parents, with every aspect of their lives fully existing. I really love that about this vid, that it shows their life with such wide scope and does such a good job of highlighting their love and their humanity.
(everybody's a little bit broken, and everyone belongs)

Thirteen! Thirteen dramas that I have finished since covid hit, and have remembered - full-stop, and also sufficiently well to have some grasp of the ending. (There is at least one drama that I definitely watched all of, but I can tell you nothing about the ending; I have emotionally bonded and remembered that part of it, not at all.) So: these are the dramas that I have watched recently(-ish) that I have found compelling. They are basically entirely(?) absurd romantic comedies because I have been leaning hard into the escapism these past few years, and also because: I like a romance, I like a comedy, and I like some crack treated seriously. Some of them are less comedic or absurd than others.

These dramas represent a very small fraction of all of the dramas that I have tried to watch in this period. I fail out of a lot of dramas. I fail out in the credits, in the first or second episode, or half-way through the series. Sometimes it's just not the particular vibe that I want to be watching in that moment. Sometimes I get bored. Sometimes I have to back away for a bit because of my embarrassment squick and then I just never come back. Other times I'll be watching something, like, through my hands with the sound off, and I'll make it through - embarrassment squick isn't a death knell, but it is a challenge. My most frequent nope out of a drama is probably misogyny, or, it's the one that pisses me off the most, because it'll be like I love these characters! They have great chemistry! ...they're doing what now? ...and they're just... going to... continue to keep doing that and also make it worse. Great. Bye. There are levels of fucked up and strange that I can tolerate or be bizarrely fascinated by, which does not exclude misogyny, but ideally things get better. I like character growth and seeing relationships modeled that don't normalise abusive behaviour, so the stuff on this list might contain less of that, or just enough other stuff to have balanced my rage. YMMV.

( 9 Modern )

( 4 Historical )

hollowhearts prompted, "share a piece of fandom meta you think everyone should read (either general or fandom-specific)" and I don't know if I believe that there's one piece of fandom meta that everyone should read. There's stuff that I've enjoyed immensely and that has enriched my life, but, I do don't know about this everyone should read business.

Except that I do believe that there are foundational genres of meta that kind of set you up as a fan. These are:

• A history of fandom and fanfiction in its own right and in the context of the wider literary canon, especially as part of that canon.

• The history and development of the AO3. (If you spend a lot of time on it or that website is otherwise important to you.)

• The patriarchy and you: racism, phobias, and oppression within fandom.

The first genre has a lot to do with external validation and seeing yourself in the world, and so my rec for this evening is:

The Boy Who Lived Forever by Lev Grossman, which was published in 2011 by Time and remains the best overview of fandom for outsiders that I've ever read - it's not a bad overview for insiders, either - though the landscape has shifted a bit in the intervening years.

In your own space, post the results of your fandom scavenger hunt. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

1. A favorite character
The Phoenix & the Ash by Aria
The Untamed | 3:30 | R | Wei Wuxian
And my back is aching, my belt's too tight / I brought a chisel tip to this pencil fight
Music: 5 out of 6 by Dessa
     + Wei Wuxian is the latest in a string of similar characters that have been ruining me since childhood. I love him so much.

2. Something that makes you laugh
Chicago's Most Wanted by Speranza
due South | 42,595 words | NC-17 | Fraser/Ray K
"Of course he got the money--he's Fraser, he's organized, he's a fucking criminal mastermind, what do you think?!"
     + Every reread fills me with fresh glee. Fraser has amnesia and takes up crime, Fraser-style.

3. A bookshelf
Milkshake by mithborien
Gunpowder Milkshake | 2:26 | PG-13
Summary: "Close your eyes, baby girl."
Music: Milkshake by Kelis (Dawin Remix)
     + A library of guns, and a gun-fight in a library. There are a lot of bookshelves in this. I thought about choosing a resource for this item, but you know what, more people need to watch this, and know about this action film.

4. A game or hobby you enjoy
The Stars and Scones Bakery and Coffee Shop by LuciaZephyr
Dresden Files | 42,863 words | NC-17 | Dresden/Marcone
Summary: In which Harry is the best baker in Chicago, but still ends up starting a few fires along the way.
     + I'm a really big fan of the bit where Harry gets drunk and makes baklava. I, too, enjoy baking, and also bakery AUs. A really solid story where Harry deals with his trauma in very in character ways, and lives his life.

5. Something you find comforting
Made With Love by Rhea
Kinou Nani Tabeta? | 1:28 | G | Kakei Shirou/Yabuki Kenji
Summary: Food and love.
Music: Hang On Little Tomato by Pink Martini
     + Domesticity. All of the food. This is so lovely and soft.

6. A TV show or movie you hope more people will watch
How You Get The Girl by absternr
Couple of Mirrors | 3:15 | G | Xu Youyi/Yan Wei
And that's how it works
That's how you get the girl
Music: How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift
     + Me. I am the person that needs to watch this TV show. Pretty femslashy historical drama.

7. A piece of clothing you love
Picspam: Costumes in Inception by bennet_7
Inception | picspam | G
So the purpose of this picspam is to examine the work that went into these costumes, tease out what they say about the characters, and generally just heap praise upon Jeffrey Kurland because, dammit, someone should.
     + Arthur's boots. The detailing, the colours, the way they disguise themselves as shoes. I've been in love with these things for over a decade. bennet_7's 2011 breakdown is fantastically thorough and offers a great rundown on what good costume design is and does.

8. A thing from an old fandom
The Student Prince by FayJay
Merlin | 145, 222 words | NC-17 | Arthur/Merlin
Summary: A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...
This story was inspired by the thought of Prince William of Wales (and indeed the current Max von Hapsburg) studying at the University of St Andrews; it is also, as the title suggests, at least a little inspired by the operetta 'The Student Prince'.
     + I fell in love with this fic with Merlin and Gwen meeting and bonding on the train. It's an incredibly satisfying read. I find it weird to think of Merlin as an old fandom, but it came out in 2008, so I'm pretty sure that qualifies.

9. A thing from a new fandom
and so does sharp grass by freshmarigolds
Extraordinary Attorney Woo | 777 words | G | Choi Su Yeon/Woo Young Woo
If Choi Su-yeon was the spring sunshine, Young-woo guesses that she must be the winter sky.
     + I came to this show and fandom for the gay and this is a little tiny piece of delight. I'm about halfway through the show now and with the exception of episode 3 (where the show gets its suicide warning) so far it's all adorable fuzzy episodic legal drama with hijinks.