"Femslash! Now that you brought it up :D"

[kiki_eng]

calvinahobbes prompted me with this after I'd put people talking to me about femslashy things on my wishlist for snowflake_challenge. February is coming, which means that, as I have for the last six years, the only fanworks that I'll be consuming or creating are female-centric ones, and since I'm a shipper there's a lot of femslash in that - Femslash February.

I tend to read more slash than anything else during the rest of the year. I like reading a lot of variations of the same story told over, and over. There's more slash so there are more variations available to me there and the size of slash fandom makes it easier to find works. I have deep roots there and I realised back in 2010 that it was really easy for me to read slash, but that I wanted to read more stories about women. Cutting male-centric fanworks out of my life completely was the easiest way, for me, to make sure that I consume fanworks about women. So, I sort of live in my own self-created fannish lesbian utopia for a month. Since I've started doing that the amount of fanworks I read about women has gone up in the other months, too; it's been a success for me, and I've made some really cool discoveries because of it. It's led me to all kinds of canons and there are all kinds of awesome femslash fanworks.

I need stories about women in my life. I need stories about queer women in my life. I am a woman, and I am queer. Those stories can be like water. Sometimes I'll run into a queer woman who will say something like, "It's a piece of shit, but it's got lesbians in it, so I'll be watching it." ...and, oh man. There's a Star Wars gif going around tumblr of Rey abruptly stopping when a ship is blown up in front of her, saying "the garbage will do" and abruptly turning and heading toward the Millenium Falcon; it's captioned with something like "when you have read all the good fic about your OTP." ...and that's it, it's that feeling, only I feel like very few of us have ever gotten used to consistently good content, we just want to see queer ladies represented and we don't have a whole lot of choices. I have watched some terrible, terrible media because of this.

Representation is so important. There's a quote by José Esteban Muñoz: "Heteronormative culture makes queers think that both past and future do not belong to them. All we are allowed to imagine is barely surviving in the present.” Stories are how we tell each other about our past and our future. Erasing queers from histories, from stories, can make it feel like we're not supposed to be here at all.

There's a quote from Junot Díaz: "You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?" And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.”

Stuff like that is why I love medievalpoc and I am so excited that Lumberjanes is a thing that exists now. Can you imagine being a queer kid and reading that when you're young, growing up having that?

My memories of seeing queers in media when I was younger are so few. I remember Lost and Delirious, which was transfixing and gut-wrenching. The First Wives Club has a minor character that's queer, and she's pretty great, actually, but her queerness is a weapon that she wields at her father, a fuck you, and she is nervous about telling people she is queer; it's written from a different place and a different time than Lumberjanes is. I was still pretty young when Brokeback Mountain came out and that was - I know people loved it and watching it was a good experience for me because it was such a popular film and I got to see how people around me felt about gays and the people closest to me were fine - I hated that film. It's so fucking miserable; it rains and there's sheep and shame and such enormous closets and it felt like the film was saying "being gay is awful and you should feel sorry for the people who are gay". There was also Will & Grace, which I liked, but I don't think I really connected with it in terms of queerness - it's such a sitcom and I don't think I really related to any of the characters, except maybe Karen with her aha! screw it! kind of attitude. ...and then there was what, Ally McBeal(?) and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, a cowboy dancing around in a tutu in the wee hours on CBC one night, and Coupling's running gag that Jane's just pretending to be a bisexual.

Representation matters. The stories we tell matter. There's a Neil Gaiman quote: "[...] the magic of escapist fiction … is that it can actually offer you a genuine escape from a bad place and, in the process of escaping, it can furnish you with armor, with knowledge, with weapons, with tools you can take back into your life to help make it better… It’s a real escape — and when you come back, you come back better-armed than when you left."

I think that when we tell stories about women we can get a better handle on what being a woman means. Stories promote empathy; they can act as a tool for fighting -isms because of that. They can teach us so many different things - to be kind to strangers, not to put up with people's crap, how to clean walls, how to flirt, and so on. I think that, as a queer woman, reading stories about queer women - femslash - can help solidify that identity. It can show you a lot of different paths. Stories do so much.

So, some recs. This is a much quicker and dirtier rec list than I would have liked to make, but this entry did not feel complete without trying to showcase some of the amazing femslash that fandom puts out, and, as it's been a weekend for me, I'm kind of doing a race against time on this.

(ETA: Screw it. I'm editing shit in. Your clocks mean nothing to me.)

What This Means by elevenoclock
Bend It Like Beckham | Jess/Jules | PG | 1,462 words
Summary: It turns out that the middle of the emergency room at six o'clock in the morning is probably not the best place to have a life-changing revelation.

This story is a beautiful tiny little punch of feelings.

i see the girls are out, a lot of freaks in the house by gonnafeelgood
Bandom | Lyn-Z | R | 8,200 words
Lyn-z loves everything about college. Before she moved out west, she’d always kind of felt like an alien. An alien trapped in New Jersey.

This story, wow. I think it's one of the first bandom fics that I fell in love with because it felt so very real to me. Bandom does that sometimes; it has these moments where it's so grounded in reality, some mundane truth and it just turns the entire thing into something magical. It's been a while since I've read this particular story but I remember it as something as a revelation. When I went to tag the pairings I was like there were ships and the relationships were really important, but I think this is gen? It's bi-gen? It's more about Lyn-Z than a particular ship.

this tightrope's made for walkin' by irishmizzy
Pitch Perfect | Beca/Chloe | PG-13 | 6,081 words
Summary: Beca does this all the time, cuts and runs before things even get a chance to be something. She’s getting sick of it.

This is such a necessary ship. The characterisation is really great in this and there are some excellent funny moments. I'm really a fan of just how realistic a depiction this feels of how this would actually go down - Jesse and Beca breaking up and her starting something with Chloe. It feels right.

Rumor Has It by gyzym
Glee | Santana | R | 8,351 words
Summary: In which Santana Lopez learns the hard way that a life can never be ruined, only lived, and lived, and lived.

This is gorgeous.

The Loneliness and the Scream by growlery
Merlin | Elena/Mithian | PG-13 | 8,447 words
Summary: After Elena's father forbids her from joining any sports teams, she decides the next best thing she can do is join the cheerleading squad. Much to her surprise, it's a challenge and she really enjoys it, even if she is the clumsiest one on the team. Cue self-exploration! Growing as a cheerleader, becoming more accepted by the team, making friendships and fumbling through high school politics.

Merlin's femslash fandom is a really rich place, and this is some excellent high school fluff. Teenagers fumbling their way on. Adorable.

Deductive Reasoning Scenarios by eruthros
Elementary | Joan/Ms. Hudson | NC-17 | 3,234 words
"Sherlock asked me to set up some deductive reasoning scenarios this week. I set up some problems - how has the room changed and what can be deduced from those changes, how does décor reflect personality, that sort of thing."
"He did. Of course he did." Joan presses her fingers to her forehead. "Have you been here long?"

I really like how Joan and Ms. Hudson talk to each other in this, and how there's this spark they follow through on. It's them having coffee together, and then sex - so there's some really basic appeal in that. The whole thing together is this great little tiny slice.

Don't Wanna Dance by anoel
Grey's Anatomy | Meredith/Cristina | PG | 3:16
Song: "Don't Wanna Dance" by MØ (Titus Jones Remix)
Summary: I don't wanna dance with nobody but you.

This captures them perfectly. It is the depth of their relationship and everything that they are to each other.

Boom Boom Ba by charmax
Xena: Warrior Princess | Xena/Gabrielle | PG-13 | 3:49
Song: "Boom Boom Ba" by Metisse
Summary: This video focuses on the sensual aspects of the show Xena and the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. This was made originally in Oct 04 for a theme challenge and the theme was “lust”. This vid plays heavily on the lust, the swaying bodies and the subtext text.

Classic.

(ETA2: ...and done. Recs now slightly less awful. Success. Sleep.)

These stories are all some of my favourites period, and some of them mean so much to me. Feel free to ask me to talk about any of them in the comments or share some of your own favourites.

Comments

[kiki_eng]

Ooh. Thank you for the lesbian pulp recs.

I think that one of the things I'm most interested in nowadays are established couples. Seeing queer peeps deal with the ups and down of life after being together for a number of years is, like, one of my kryptonites. LOL!
I was thinking about this today, what I want in a queer lady film and it's no dead/tragic queers and no coming out - coming out to people is fine, but I don't want a coming out story in it; I want to watch something about women who are settled into their identities and are out to the people in their lives that they want to be. So established relationships do sound kind of nice, especially since there is that thing where "lesbianism is a phase". I think Cloudburst is like that? ...but I also suspect that dementia is lurking in there somewhere since they are nursing home escapees.

[glitteryv]

YW!

I don't think I'eve ever heard of Cloudburst before today. /o\

There are only two movies I can think of regarding F/F in an established relationship. One is Freeheld (with Julianne Moore and Ellen Page as the couple)--which is a REALLY depressive movie.

The other one is The Kids Are Alright (with Annette Benning and Julianne Moore as the couple. It also features Mark Ruffalo). This one started v. interesting and cozy and then it veered off course and made me almost walk out of the movie in a rage.

My yearning for actually HAPPY movies featuring F/F in established relationships is exactly what you mention in your comment: coming out stories are great, but I'm fairly sure I've seen about 3546832465135468 movies about coming out. I want something else aside from that storyline. As much as I like first time plots, I want something that reflects two women in a couple who have been together for a while and it must also have a HEA. Like, how freaking hard is that to make? >:(

[kiki_eng]

two women in a couple who have been together for a while and it must also have a HEA
Possibly that film is Yes or No 2. I haven't seen it yet, but the first one is college roommates and coming out and it looks like the second is about them figuring out long distance and stuff? They're still really young, though.